"Mum, I really want to pursue a bachelor's degree in music, I gave her a letter from the president of the University of the Philippines. (UP) music conservatory," There really is no money for music " There was her quick response.
I was very sad about my mother's pronunciation. Who is not there? During my elementary school days, between the ages of 7 and 12 years, over the course of the year every summer we pressed keyboard lessons from our cousin strongly. "When you go to your uncle 's house, you can take an organ lesson. The organ was an electric keyboard used at the time church music accompaniment. "Your cousin, your uncle 's daughter will play the organ" My uncle' s family, my mother 's younger brother was playing the whole family with a family music band. It was so proud that all the family played in the music band, so letting all the children participate was my uncle 's passion. My uncle must have been inspired by the story of a family singer who was popularized by the famous Oscar award winning movie "The Sound of Music". My uncle runs an entertainment restaurant near the Cagayan de Oro. The family band played the famous "Hotel California" in the world, transformed into a rock band Eagles. Oh, I anxious to play like my cousin, who sings a wonderful song of world-famous musicians.
I have died. I could not figure out what to pursue anymore. What I wanted to do was discouraging for me. Before I presented the letter to my mother earlier, I was thinking of the contents of the letter from Dean of UP. I was given four complicated piano pieces for audition requirements. I presented it to that piano teacher She said, "Well, Julius, we will work on these songs" Bach's works, Beethoven's works, Mozart's works, Ritz's works. I was very excited. Listening to my mother's discouraging me this time was a really big blow. I never knew that time I had such a big negative impact on my life for such a long time. What I felt was destruction in me. I felt that everything I wanted for my life would not happen. I am already 18 or 19 years old. I did not have any other options except my mother wanting me to pursue music, so I pursued the second option from the submission. I will explain why it took seven years to complete my four - year degree - BS psychology. Did I take responsibility? After all, it was not really my choice.
I envied other young youth. Because they gain support from their parents about the careers they were seeking pursuing. I did not know the exact reason why my mother had to discourage me for the pursuit of music. Beethoven, Mozart, Bach, and all the great musicians were men, it was not due to a false notification that music is only for girls. And my cousin 's cousin was male and female. At that time I could not understand it, so I felt angry at her. But later, I began to understand that it was due to financial reasons.
We are 11 people in our family. Some of my brothers in that era were in law school at the same university where I pursued BS psychology - Xavier University, Ateneo de Cagayan. It was really hard for her to have a mother to go to school and make a living. My father belonged to a family who was large and very landed. I married my mother, believing that money is the root of all evil, never working his father. He may return to feminization as he tended to do when he was still in a high position in our city government agencies. I am doing my best with confidence that anyone can understand in the future.
Such a big blow against my general perception of my personal. I always remember being mad at something I could not point out. I thought that I wanted to know what was coming from me. Music must have moved really in my veins. I spent hours spending practicing on the piano, rather than spending time on my academic research. I'd like to have a voice lesson, but I was not affirmed by an important person. On the contrary, my mother when I was speaking said that "You are an ugly voice, Jong". Perhaps it was her way to challenge me, but it did not come to me like that. In fact, I was trying to make it sound like a famous singer such as Frank Sinatra, Andy Williams, Matt Monroe and so on. But I am not Matt Monroe, Julius Pacana! I never felt anything unless I heard something like a famous singer. To perceive my existence I almost irrigated my brain to a nursery. And I brought it to the middle age. I am fighting with confidence, I think that I had a very strong back from the specific experience of my younger days.
"Star apple seeds, carbon paper, glass bottles" listed the important things necessary for scientific experiments for fifth graders. I was 12 years old and I was in 1980. It was fun to experiment, but I remember. But the result was not satisfactory. Later, when I was teaching elementary school student as an alternative teacher, I was watching young boys and girls providing a happy and heartfelt environment, the requirements of scientific experiments and schools. I thought that it was impossible for me to be one tenth of my family and everyone was busy pursuing my personal activities.
My mother must be tired of nurturing nine mischief and overactive children in front of me. Although the star apple seeds germinate, scientific experiments have passed for me as it is not that healthy for my classmates. That might be much better. After my elementary year, I could not remember what important people helped me at my academy. Star Apple's experiment was one of many school activities that I can remember even if there are no other important people. support. It is not because they do not love it. Perhaps I was more tired. The nine brothers in front of me would have exhausted my mother's energy and was taking time to attend me. I had a wonderful moment with my mother. However, it is not an important era to interfere with work together. My father is not so. It was a wonderful cohesion time that school work was impressed with sense of responsibility and willingly work on it. Even the work of housework was ordered strictly, just like a sense of responsibility that always strives for happiness.
I will return to the aforementioned "mentality of qualification". I would say that this had eased this extreme disappointment that I have not achieved what I wanted for my life. This spirit deeply rooted my father and seemed to run also in my veins. I never encountered these words "mentality of qualifications" until I read the book "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" by Robert Kiyosaki in 1998 and witnessed my negative effects.
When I got this book in 1998, I was already teaching psychology at university. It had a huge impact on my life and I was crying while reading a book literally. I could not help crying and looking at my dad's current situation. It seemed like a poor father who mentioned the book. My father was highly educated. After his undergraduate course, he pursued a study of the completed law. But my father believed in the idea of qualification, so he was fully packed with his credentials. He was able to pursue his career even at government and private institutions. However, he persisted in what he could give him, inheritance. Inherited a great promise for temporary richness. I do not know other brothers, but for me, I embraced it. I thought that I never truly satisfied myself, but money was wise. I kept imagining the wealth that inheritance brings. I also continued watching the disparity in living standards between us and father's younger brother who started to have power as a politician at that time. Why are we poor? I always thought. "Why can not I have a new and beautiful house?" "Why can not I have a new good car?" I always asked. My view was legitimate, but the justification I heard was that "money and wealth are the root of all evil." However, I was confused by seeing the very wealthy, highly religious and humble, our ultra wealthy community. So, I thought that something was wrong with my parents belief that money is the root of all evil. Is there a connection between the three? - That money is the root of all evil thinking, is your level of thinking of qualifications and the possibility of him being something great? When it fears money for being bad, you hide behind the way of thinking of that qualification. Solving your beliefs about it greatly loses the level of confidence you need for great success and huge success. Those views and I read the book by Robert Kiyosaki have made up my determination to crush poverty in our family. My father strongly believed in the way of thinking of qualification, but he really covered the consciousness about the adverse effect in my life. Unfortunately, he gave it to some of our brothers. He believed that he, the eldest son, was entitled to inherit his parents. Property and other things. This idea was extended to insist on slavery service from those who extended aid, monetary and physical clauses. Those who are more prosperous and able to extend funds, the qualification offer gains the right to qualify. "I am offering it for our parents because of this and that concern, so I am entitled to a bigger share", claiming. "No, I am the best ... So ... ..." another brother asserts. This is consistently done by my father's brother. My uncle and aunts of my father's family insist that we have varying degrees of authority over us. One of the most prosperous of them is not all of our brothers, but especially slaves as my slaves, cleaning the toilet, executing errands, and other family housework. They regard it as privilege, not right. The only way to suppress this is to increase your power from education and high financial position. However, despite rising to that level, he still has a hidden agenda to gain that power first, so that he is proud of superior emotions and still acts with pride.
However, due to the fact that what was not dealt with now is someone, the authority is weakened at some point. Let me give an example. When I felt the debt to older people, I always watched over me as they insisted and I took care of myself for a while. I felt I had to take a return all the time, and when this return was not satisfactory, I was not a par. My parents received higher education, so my mother had a bachelor's degree in college and sometimes taught world history. Both of us wanted us to receive a good education. Ironically, following my wonderful education, my father never got a job because I went to high school for some reason after reading Robert Kiyosaki's book as a qualified mentality product did. And perhaps there is great fear in this seemingly unfinished world. We are not exempt from all of this, but some are really fighting away fiercely.
In addition, in Dr. David J. Schwartz 's book "The Magic of Thinking Big", Chapter 2: Frankly discussed how to treat micturitis of insufficient disease. Abdominal pain, according to Dr. David Schwartz, is a thought disease that moves the mind. When we are afraid of taking a chance with some effort, we make excuses to refuse from them. I will not say here that money for success is the only barometer. My father successfully accomplished us through faith in Christian faith, especially God, and worshiping God. However, I can balance myself, social, financial balance in every aspect of my life, gain healthy and strong confidence, but I realized it in my later life. A sound understanding and way of thinking that money is not the root of all evil is as important as healthy social and spiritual development and such balanced thinking is not taught at a young age To be inconclusive, "mentality of qualification" certainly does not belong to this sound balance. I believe that this wrong mind really needed a rescue in my formative period.
In this early stage I have to say I do not agree with anger or hatred. My goal is to identify the experience in my life that did not result in really healthy growth and how we can deal with healthy and positive ways to elicit healthy and emotional individuals only. I do not want to be absorbed in bringing all such undesirable experiences. After all, this is the past - a very long past. And I already forgive myself and others. As one of the Disney animated film "Lion King", "Hakuna · Mata" (meaning Swahili phrase "no worries" or "no problem" in Central Eastern Africa) collided successfully with my head and mind. And big peace lives in my heart. By the way, this word is exactly the same as what I always knew in the Bible of Matthew 11: 28, it is not known to many people, "You all work and have a burden. (NAB)
